So anyway, in honor of my 40th post I am going to be doing a top 40. A top forty of what? You may ask. Well, I think it would be too hard to count to 40 [my little brain can't work quite that hard]. So I am going to do FOUR top TENs [yes. my brain can do multiplication but can't count to 40. Shut up].
The top ten list will be as follows:
Top Ten Failtastic Pictures [from Washington].
Top Ten Ridiculous Quotes [from Washington].
Top Ten Movies Watched [in Washington].
Top Ten Awkward Moments [in Washington].
So let us get started, yes? Alright.
Top Ten Failtastic Pictures:
1.
This may very well be a good picture but that's not the point. This picture is super failtastic because I figured out after it was taken [way after] that I had a glob of sap on my butt the size of something that was the size of the glob. [sorry, I couldn't find a good word].
2.
This is supposed to be a picture of fireworks...FAIL...
3.
This was me shooting a roman candle off. Except I was an idiot and shot it into the trees and at the ground. That is why this picture deserves the title of FAILtastic.
4.
I kept trying to get Austin to pose for me, but he was throwing a hissy fit. He kept saying "It's not natural. It's not natural." So I got him talking back to me. Failtography.
5.
Sigh. Fail, I know. I obviously fell into the lake.
6.
What a FAIL! We were trying to get a picture of Austin "holding" the space needle. As you can very well see, that didn't work so well for us.
7.
This is me outside the EMP building. I asked my mom to get a picture of me in the air. PAH. Instead I look like I am inviting the world to smell my Apricot [AY-prih-kott] armpits.
8.
Jessica asked me to take a picture of Alix and the space needle. And asked me not to get her face. This is why. They call her "Stinky Booty." What a great picture. FAIL.
9.
Failtastic, for two reasons, can't you see? One, three generations...and Erika. They don't have any three generation pictures, and that still continues to be the case. Fail number two...WHY THE HECK WAS I LOOKING AT MY BOOBS! [aaaaahhhh controversial terms. Get used to it. I am not changing my ways. Boob boob boob boob boob boob BOOB!].
10. FINALLY! Failtastic Photo number ten!
This one is one of the best, in my opinion.
This is us at the lake. That up there in the air is me. That's right, the upside down one. I was doing a front flip 180. This would have been a great, nonFAILtastic picture, if it had not been for that life guard lady right there With her butt facing right towards the camera. SO there you go life guard lady. Thank you for giving me a failtastic picture to post on my blog!
Top Ten Ridiculous Quotes!
Erika, Austin, Jessica, Scott, Mom, Random Person
1. "Dude, she is the first babe that I've ever seen doing stuff off the diving board." [writing this wasn't quite as funny as when it was said. I guess it's one of those have to be there moments].
I overheard some guy saying this to his friend at the lake the other day while I was jumping off and doing my flips and twists. I thought it was funny cuz NO ONE in Washington can do anything on a diving board.
2. "Do black people get sunburns?" "Yes, you just can't see it." "Oh." "Yeah, So...Do Asians burn?" "Yeah, they turn orange. Duh!" [I know, I know. That's extremely racist. I'm sorry. That brings me to my next quote].
3. *I said something about Asians* "That's kind of racist." "Asian isn't a race, it's an...ethnicity." "Fine...your ethnicity-ist..." "Uhm, No. I prefer politically incorrect."
I dunno...It's funny to me, okay?
4. We were playing frisbee together and Scotty started singing randomly.
♪ Boomerang! Makes you poo! ♪ "That would make it a POOmerang." "Is that like lemon meringue?" ♪ Poomerang! What does it do? It goes right through you!♪
5. We were at Domino's picking up some pizza's for dinner and my mom's dumb truck doesn't like to turn well, so it was rather hard to get into a parking spot, Sir. So we went and were about to pull into a spot and a delivery guy was coming out with some pizzas and my mom said "Is this parking spot only for you guys, or can I-" He answered, "No, you pull right in. We don't want you to go hungry." hahahaha, [lame, I know]. I thought it was funny though.
6. My sister's laptop has a wireless mouse that plugs into the USB port. I like to use it, but she doesn't. So whenever she uses the computer after me and it's still plugged in, I mess with her and move the mouse slowly in the opposite direction she wants it to go in. So earlier I was on the computer and then she took it, and the mouse was plugged in. I started playing a little and so she ripped the USB out and shoved it down between her boobs [sorry about the controversial term. I thought about using another word, but nothing fit]. Then she hollered "OUCH!" "What?" "This thing burned me." ahahahahahaha. [hey, don't make fun of me! I thought it was funny!]
7. At the Space needle the other day we received a pink paper titled "Why Do People Do the Things They Do?" and inside there were 200 personality and behavioral based questions. Several of the lead to funny answers, I guess they might only be funny to us cuz everything is funny to us.
a]. "Do you often make tactless blunders?" "Pssh, yeah. Tact is for weenies."
b]. "Do children irritate you?" "Oy...What age are we talking about?"
c]. "Are you truthful to others?" "Pssh, Yes." "That was a lie right there." "This is a survey. A piece of paper isn't 'others'."
8. We were at the lake and a lady walked by...Nevermind, this one explains itself.
"That girl had muffin tops on top of her muffin tops! It's like she's wearing a really tight bra under her slightly less tight swim suit." "What the-?"
9. We were watching So You Think You Can Dance, I believe, and Billy Bell was wearing a skirt. The conversation went as follow: "Why is he wearing a skirt?" *Simultaneously* "Cuz he's gay." "Cuz he's an angel." "Angel's aren't gay." "He's a Gay-ngel."
10. We were having a discussion about the disputes about whether SODA is called soda or pop. This is kinda how it went down. "98% of people in the United States call it pop. And Arizona calls it soda." "I call it soda." "I call it pop if I am buying a cup of pop, and soda if I am buying a case of soda." *Confused silence* "Soda is plural for pop."
Top Ten Movies watched while in Washinton!:
10. Alice in Wonderland- I am going to say, this movie made it into the top ten by default. I wasn't to psyched about seeing it, and I was quite annoyed while watching it. [go ahead, peg me with rotten tomatoes, but a girl is entitled to write her opinions on her blog]. It had good animation and everything looked super cool, BUT, I hate Tim Burton movies cuz they are dark and scary and depressing. [All except Edward Scissor-Hands, which I just so happen to love with every fiber of my being. [fiber makes you poop].].
I don't even think we watched this many movies, so I am gonna use television shows as fillers till I get to the good ones, kay?
9. Toddlers and Tiaras- Uhm. Let me tell you, I have some SERIOUS problems with this show. I mean, as tomboy-ish as I am, I still believe there is NO problem putting your children into pageants and shows and stuff...But, I think there is a problem with doing it for YOU, for your own selfish reasons. It just isn't right to have your three year old tortured into a dress and makeup to win YOU, selfish mother, YOU, a prize. Stupid. I think that there should be a requirement that the parents can't be jerks. I saw ONE family that was actually supportive of their child. The others yelled and criticized their children till I went crazy. I know I'm not a mom, and I don't have much room to talk here, but this is just wrong. The end. [Sorry, I am very strongly opinionated...]
8. Deadliest Catch- Well...This show is...cool. I guess. I mean, I don't really understand why my sister is hooked on it. I mean, it is cool and everything, watching them catch crabs, but I have better things to watch.
7. So You Think You Can Dance- I must say, I am IN LOVE with this show now, as of...well the time that the miraculous Alex Wong danced the hip hop routine flawlessly! That is a lot coming from a ballet dancer! It was the best hip hop routine I have ever seen in my whole entire life! But, I now must add, there is no chance of my ever watching it again now that Alex Wong is "injured". Yes, I believe that they made him fake an injury because he was just too good and there was no competition. Well, maybe it was just an unfortuneate accident. EITHER WAY, Alex isn't going to be on, which means the winner will probably be some undeserving loser...like Billy Bell or Robert. [gag sounds]. Not worth my time.
6. Lost!- I am not sure if any one of you [other than Jadyn Maree] know how addicted I am to this show. It's good.. We have been watching several episodes a night for the past two weeks and are almost to the end of season 3 [which I am dreading for...reasons...Charly Dies! *covers mouth in alarm* AGGH! Erika! Why did you have to ruin it for everyone!?! PAH! right, cuz if they haven't seen it by now, like they ever will]. No, I recommend this show, definitely. It's a good one. I love Sawyer, and Locke, and Jack, and Kate, and everyone really. OH! Especially Hurley. HA! Really, this show is amazing dude.
[finally getting into the movies]
5. P.S. I Love You- I originally saw this movie when it first came out in theatres and I LOVED it. I hadn't seen it since and so I got it out of my sister's movie cupboard and we watched it. And I decided upon two things. Number one, well number one is a decision I believe every girl has made from one movie or another, and for me, it's more of a recommitment. And that is that Gerard Butler is one of the MOST GORGEOUS men alive! Especially in P.S. I Love You, cuz his face isn't halfway covered like in the Phantom of the Opera, so you can gaze upon his full beauty. The second decision that I made was If my husband gets a tumor and is gonna die, I want him to do exactly what Jerry did for his wife, cuz that was so sweet.
4. Moulin Rouge- Yes, this is a movie about a prostitute. But, the music is simply to die for! I LOVE the elephant love medley, it makes me smile. It reminds me of when I was just a small girl of 12, my sister had the soundtrack playing in her room almost constantly. That is why I love the movie, oh, and because the face and the voice of Ewan McGregor are BEAUTIFUL! If you haven't yet, listen to the music at least. It's just awesome.
3. Princess and the Frog- dude, I have seen this movie countless times and I love it. But I forced Jessica to watch it with me, and she didn't like it. Sadday!
2. Titanic- I used to watch this movie when I was younger if I couldn't sleep. Weird, I know, But anyhow, I hadn't seen it since who knows when, but then my sister recorded it on tivo, and we watched it. and DUDE! I love Leo Decaprio...he is so beautiful and so awesome at acting. That movie is so good. I know it's based on a true story, but I just gotta say, that is what you get when you say that not even God himself could sink that ship, cuz guess what!?! He can. and He did. so there ya have it. Be thou humble, or the Lord will humble you.
1. Forrest Gump! Man oh man! It has been a long while since I have seen that movie! I have always loved it. And dude, the best part is, since is was on television, it was cut and made appropriate for all ages, so there were no cuss words and no naughty parts. That movie is an American classic, and I want a friend just like Forrest! He is so cool! I love Tom Hanks, he did a great job in the movie! And... that's all I have to say about that.
NOW, FINALLY, The Top Ten Awkward Moments experienced in Washington!
1. Toilet Paper- This morning I needed to go to the bathroom. And there was no toilet paper. And my sister lives with her husband's parents. [do you see where this is going...?] So I go upstairs to grab some from the other bathroom and Jessica's father-in-law was standing up there...in the bathroom. Shirtless. Ew. [saggy old man boobs.] WHAT THE HECK! [I swear, I am going to lose readers because of these controversial terms I use]. Boobs.
2. Veggie Tales- I was sitting in young women's on sunday and we were discussing appropriate entertainment. Then we started talking about things to watch on television that are good and not dirty and don't use bad language. And all the girls were naming the shows they watch and then I say "Veggie Tales." All five girls go quiet and look at me like I was some sort of freak. Then the girl next to me says "Veggie Tales? Really?" Yeah...I felt pretty uncomfortable after that, for about thirty seconds till we changed the subject. Haha.
3. I have decided to turn this into things that are in my brain right now instead of this because 1. I am bored, 2. There weren't very many awkward moments while I was here, it is pretty good.
4. I really don't think I can go through a blog post without saying the word "boob" anymore. Or ever could.
5. I think the word cinderblock is kind of fun.
6. I LOVE SUN FLOWER SEEDS! but, I just got stabbed in the mouth by one.
7. I miss you people in Arizona.
8. We have a giant box of goldfish right next to me. We've had it for two days, and the first half disappeared at an alarming rate, but goldfish are good. I like them.
9. At least I'm an orange.
10. I FINALLY FINISHED this blog post! It's taken a long time!
There it is folks, my fortieth blog post, and my top forty! I hope you enjoyed! [if you even got to the end].
Tune in next time for:
A blog post that is a lot shorter!
I mean, The Outstanding Adventures of Princess Sullivan!
Hey, lets add some mail. You've got mail!
Dear Alexa, Jadyn, Mimi, and Victoria, HI!
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1 comment:
What the heck is wrong with Washington girls??? I freaking LOVE Veggie Tales!!!! Losers.
Oh, and I agree about Moulin Rouge. Tis epic.
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