1916 Beehive Requirements

So, as many of you may know, I started my personal progress in March. [I know, I know...I should have started YEARS ago]! And I recently finished Faith and Virtue. and today I received my book marker ribbon thingys for them [giggle. They make me super happy, and I feel super accomplished]. So anyway, I decided that I LOVE to do personal progress!! It makes me feel so good inside.

So, I was going through a binder I got at girls camp a few years ago, and it has a bunch of random things in it. Random facts about Ireland, everything that is needed to be known about the wife of every president of the church, and [my personal favorite] 1916 Beehive Requirements [which is, quite obviously the inspiration behind this post].

So, Let's get on with it, shall we?

1. Care successfully for a hive of bees for one season and know their habits.
     Uh...really? That's...cool. Kind of risky, and dangerous, but I can see how that is something that will make you a better wife and mother, can't you?

2. Give the distinguishing characteristics of six varieties of hen and cattle and tell the good and weak points of each.
     Uhm...six varieties of cattle: Hamburger, steak, meatballs, uhm...hamburger helper...roast beef, and live cattle. That's six. I can't help with the hens though...

3. Exterminate the mosquitoes over an area of a mile square by pouring a little kerosene on the surface of all standing pools of water twice each month during April, May, and June.
     I'd just pour the kerosene into the water, and throw a match it. That way, there is no more mosquitoes, AND you get heat and light.

4. Make two articles of underwear by hand.
     ...okay. Two articles of underwear by hand. For me? or...for my mom? or for my brother...is it specified. It's a courtship gift. "Here, I made you some undies cuz I want your hand in marriage."

5. Cover 25 miles on snowshoes in any six days.
    In any six days? Does that include the summertime, cuz if I were to walk 25 miles in snowshoes in six days time, I wouldn't want it to be snowing, unless I got some soup. Maybe that means...the six days can be separated. I dunno, but that doesn't sound fun.

6. Learn to float in the Great Salt Lake and propel yourself 50 feet.
    What? Sink or Float...you gotta try no matter what. But, what if you fail this one? And Sink??

7. During three consecutive months, abstain from candy, ice cream, commercially manufactured beverages, and chewing gum.
     I have some friends that aren't drinking soda for a whole year. I have some friends that went a whole year without chocolate. And...A friend that went two years without chewing gum. Did you ever think it'd qualify for Personal Progress? Reconsider your thinking.

8. [This one is good]. For one month, masticate your food thoroughly that it slips down without any visible effort at swallowing it.
    Cuz no man wants to marry a woman that can't swallow without any visible effort. Pssh. I'm screwed. I wouldn't want to chew my food long enough that it just SLIPS DOWN. The thought of that is sickening.

9. Successfully put a new washer on a faucet.
    Eh, no problem. Except for the successfully part...

10. Care for at least two kerosene lamps daily.
     For how long? That's a weird requirement.

11. For three months take care of milk and cream from at least one cow and see that the pails, pans, strainer, and separator are thoroughly cleansed.
     I can do that!! I just need a cow! and some pails...and some pans....and a strainer, and a separator....

12. During two weeks, keep the house free from flies OR destroy at least 25 flies daily.
     If destroying 25 flies daily doesn't keep your house free from flies...there is a serious problem.

13. Have your toilet moved to an isolated place in the garden. Have a frame of chicken wire built about three feet away and plant quick growing vines such as a cucumber or morning glories to screen it from observation.
     Or...you leave your toilet where it is...and...don't poop in the garden? I don't think there IS an isolated place in the garden. and that's just...weird.

14. Whitewash your toilet inside and out.
    After you move it to the garden of course.

15. Know and describe three cries of a baby.
    Well the hungry cry is something like WAAAAAH. And the tired cry is like WAAAAAH. and the uhm...poopy? cry is like WAAAAAH.

16. Without help or advice [so, without any knowledge on the matter whatsoever] harness a team at least five times; drive them 50 miles during one season.
     Without any help or advice...just do it...okay. That's safe.

17. During two summer months, clean ice chest thoroughly twice a month.
     That's not too bad.

18. [I think this one is my favorite]. Discover ten reasons why the Columbine should be the national flower.
    Uh...What the Random!! Why should the Columbine be the national flower? Cuz it's everywhere? Cuz it sounds like Concubine? Cuz...I don't have any more reasons.

19. Clear sage brush off of an acre of land.
     Find an acre of land covered in sage brush...take the left over kerosene from number 3, and drop a match...Sage brush GONE!!

20. Know six blazes used by the Indians.
     What in the blazes is a blaze...?

So...these are only 20 of the requirements that the girls of 1916 had to complete. There were 373 requirements possible for a Beehive girl to earn her awards. But back then you were a "Beehive" from 14 till Relief Society. But yeah, I hope you have as much fun reading this as I had writing it.

Tune in Next Time for:
 
Something that may actually be worth your time to read...

I mean, the random adventures of Princess Sullivan!